Yesterday I found an old friend/coworker through Facebook. After accepting the friend request I did the usual, "stalking" of a new friend. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. We all do it! After becoming friends, we sit and check out their information, photos and wall posts. After doing this to my friend, I was able to put 2 and 2 together and realized that this friend has the EXACT same medical problem as I do. I'm not talking diabetes, depression or anything like half the population has. I'm talking about a brain tumor attached to the pituitary gland (in my case 2 tumors). Granted, her tumor is bigger (10mm) while mine are (7mm and 6mm) but while we were talking, she mentioned that she was going to get hers out. I'm a little jealous because after all the research I've done in the past 3 years, 10mm is the smallest they'll operate on. Even though together my tumors equal 13mm, the doctors don't seem concerned. She found out about her tumor less than a year ago, so she's still having to deal with all this new information and is very scared. I've been dealing with this for 3 years now and I feel like I'm a pro at dealing with doctors. I told her not to go to the Chief of Neuro/Oncology at Barrows Neurological Center (suppose to be one of the top 10 in the nation) because the chief is old and basically told me that people dealt with these things in the old days without any problems. I swear to God he actually said that to me, even my mom's jaw dropped when she heard him say it. Excuse me doctor but apparently the tumors are causing a problem in my life because I knew something was wrong with me and that's why I got my blood tested and had an MRI. Ugh, to this day I'm still angry with that doctor. I also told her to send her tests and MRI's to a hospital in San Francisco that actually does Gamma Knife surgery (pretty much a laser that zaps the tumor and is one of only a few in the world that does it). That's who I went to for my second opinion. They take everyone's tests and every Monday they have a "board meeting" to discuss the cases and see who needs the surgery. I was shocked when one of the doctors (not a nurse or assistant) called me and spoke to me about my condition. Basically I'm screwed and have to take medication for the rest of my life. I know during the first year, I felt very alone and had to figure everything out on my own and it was very difficult, and that's why I'm going out of my way to help my friend navigate her way through doctors and options.
A person doesn't understand how scary and hard it is to deal with a brain tumor until you have one yourself. I had an extra hard time because I found out about my tumors 2 months after my parents moved away, and I had no family around for support. My mom was the best mom ever because she was making trips from Vegas to Phoenix almost every week to be with me while I went to all my appointments.
From the very beginning of finding out about my tumors, I always blamed Macys. I worked there for 3 years and I hate that place with a passion! I know there's a storage room on the second floor where once you go inside, there's another door with a big sticker that says, "Warning, Esbestos may be present". My friend and I saw it, said, "Oh hell no!" and took off running. Yes, we might have been a little over dramatic but when it comes to health issues, I'm not going to take any chances. So I've blamed Macys, saying the esbestos gave me my tumors. Now I find out that my friend who also worked at Macys, has the exact same brain tumor as I do. Coincidence? I think not! Just another bit of information to store away until I can finally bring Macys down. I don't hate that place or anything!
Which leads me to my lifelong goal/dream. With all the charities out there, there are only 2 that are near and dear to my heart. One is HIV/AIDS and the other is Brain Tumors. I would love to start a charity for people with brain tumors. I would love to be able to help those people out with medical bills, support, and information. The other part would be to start up a scholarship fund for kids with brain tumors. If a kid can be strong enough and determined enough to get rid of these tumors, then obviously they deserve a college education and can do wonders for the world. Not many people know of my dream and I'm not sure why I don't mention it. Maybe it's because only a handful of people outside of my family know that I have 2 brain tumors. It's not like I'm ashamed or think I'm "special". I think it's because no one understands what happens to a persons body/hormones with a brain tumor. I don't want peoples sympathy, I just want these things gone from my brain!
I remember I was having lunch with your brother and he told me about your situation. I remember going home and e-mailing you (or maybe it was a myspace message) about it. You sent me back a long message explaining everything, and I remember being blown away by the strength and courage your words conveyed. Reading this, I'm experiencing that admiration all over again. There are people in this world who have the ability to inspire with their own ability to be resilient and persevere when the world throws garbage at them. You are just the person to establish a charity. And, may I add, you don't give yourself enough credit... you are a great writer. You should put together a memoir, because that whole "I blame Macy's" thing you got going is a kick! :) Lots of love being sent your way!
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