I was dreading doing this letter because there are things that I just hate talking about, but here it goes...
First I'd like to say thank you for everything you have done for me in my life. No matter how big or small, everything you have done has shaped me into the person I am today.
To my mom: Words can not express how grateful I am to have you in my life. You are the rock in my life and I have no idea where I'd be without you there to keep me grounded. Our family is not known for biting our tongues or being speechless and I was able to make you speechless when I told you about my health issues. I wish I could forget that day but I can't. I remember putting on my brave face and walking out of the doctor's office and I immediately called you and the second I heard you say hello, I broke down crying. When I was finally able to blubber out the results, you immediately dropped everything and drove the 5 hours to stay with me for the weekend. You continued driving 5 hours every other Friday to join me and hold my hand as I went through all the tests and the countless doctors visits. You were there when I lost all hope. When I was 10 and had my appendix taken out, you where there the entire 3 days I was in the hospital. You were there when I had my tonsils taken out just 2 years ago, and took me to the ER at 2am without complaining. You worked hard especially as a single mom with 3 kids when we were little. I know I wasn't the easiest child growing up. I was stubborn, moody, a smart ass, and you still loved me. I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you have done for me throughout my life. You have such a huge heart and have set a great example to me and I can only hope that I can be just like you. I love you more than you will ever know.
To my step dad: You came into my life when I was only 3 years old. I was too little to realize the significance of everything. Growing up I felt lucky to have 2 dads. You taught me so much by example and by forcing me to stop and listen. I know you always felt like a back up dad or that we compared you to our real dad... in my eyes, you've always been a real dad to me. You taught me to finally be able to swallow a pill instead of taking chewables. You taught me how to change a flat tire even though you didn't think I was listening. You taught me how to be a resourceful girl and not be a dumb helpless girl. You were a bit overprotective at times but looking back, I understand it now. I'm sorry for all the shouting matches we had while in high school. I want to thank you for being a real dad to me and my brothers when you didn't really have to. Some kids are a mommy's girl and some are a daddy's girl... I'm a stepdaddy's girl. I love you like a real father.
To my step mom: I guess it's more like ex step mom now... Thank you for being so wonderful to me and for treating me like you're own daughter. I loved our 17 years as a family. One memory that always stands out in my mind is when I was 8, you took me to your work for Take Your Daughter To Work Day. I was so proud to be considered your daughter and I remember all your coworkers commenting on how much we look alike. I also remember you always doing my hair when I came to visit on the weekends and you teaching me how to cook. I know the divorce had nothing to do with me but I'm so sorry for everything that happened. You are one of the most caring and understanding people I know. I also want to thank your family for treating my brothers and I like family even after all these years. You and your family have provided my brothers and I with so many wonderful memories and traditions... how could we forget our annual trips to Santa Cruz or sneaking over to the Nelson's or the countless hours playing in the back field. I'm glad our relationship has continued since the divorce and you will always be considered family to me. I love you and miss you so much.
To my dad: I saved this one for last because I honestly don't know where to begin. After I graduated high school our relationship was already strained, but it wasn't until I was 20 that I finally cut you out completely. It wasn't a decision I took lightly. It was the years of not reaching your impossible goals, the years of nothing ever being good enough. It was the years you never went to a single soccer or softball game but always seemed to make it to my brothers games. You never even made it to the hospital when I was 10 and got my appendix taken out. You weren't in my life during the important events when a dad is supposed to be there, yet you somehow made it to my brothers important events. I'll cut you some slack because during the later years you decided that it was best for you to live by your siblings instead of your own children, but it hurt when you came to my brothers high school graduations, yet you couldn't possibly make mine because you were on a vacation in Hawaii. The final straw was when I found out what the true you was really like. See, I never understood why you could only pay $200 a month in child support for 3 kids when I know you and my step mom made good money... it was because you had a gambling problem. You would much rather gamble your kids child support away. Then I found out that you cheated on my step mom for years. Even after all these things, the one thing that finally was the straw that broke the camels back was the email you sent to my mother that my brother also got. You remember the one, where you called me a selfish child, a rude spoiled brat all because I wouldn't take your calls... If not taking your phone calls makes me a selfish, rude, spoiled, brat then what do you call a man who puts down his children, and is never in the kids lives, lying, cheating, gambling guy? Whatever that word is... that's you. P.S. Please don't call me on my birthday anymore. You are not a true dad if you only try to have contact with me one day out of 365.
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