Swamp Ass

Some people call this time of year summer, hot summer days, dog days of summer, but my friends and I like to call it swamp ass season. While most of the US is still cold, snowy or having spring like days, here in Arizona it already reached 98 on Friday! Sunday was spent laying out at the pool which resulted in lovely tomato red ta-tas for yours truly. Which also means I can only sleep on my back, which explains why I'm blogging at 4:30am! But I digress...
Swamp ass is what my other native California friend who now lives in Arizona and I made up to describe what girls go through during the summer months. Believe it or not we had this lovely conversation while working at Macys on a very boring day. Our panty of choice are thongs for the obvious reasons, no panty lines. However, it's a double edged sword during the summer. When it's 100+ degrees, you want to wear the bare minimum in clothing, which could mean wearing a skirt with hopes of getting a little breeze action "down there". But if you combine a skirt with a thong, it will result in swamp ass. While sitting on... let's say a barstool, your ass will sweat. While you're there trying to look sexy in hopes of a guy hitting on you, in the back of your mind you keep thinking about the sweat accumulating "down there". God forbid you need to use the restroom while sweet talking a guy because getting off the barstool with swamp ass is a very hard maneuver. You have to slide off the stool while "mopping up" your ass sweat to hide the swamp ass evidence. It takes lots of practice to get this move down. For the first couple times you might look like your too drunk to walk, but I promise after a couple tries, you'll get the hang of it. Because of swamp ass, my friend and I have resulted to using boy short panties as often as possible because it helps prevent swamp ass and still doesn't show panty lines. One night my friend and I were at the bar with B and a couple other guy friends when I noticed my friend wearing a skirt...at a bar... during summer. 3 things you don't combine because it's the perfect combination for swamp ass to make an appearance. In my tipsy voice I said, "girl, did you forget about swamp ass?" to which she laughed and all 3 guys just looked at us like we were a bunch of idiots, so we had to explain swamp ass. The guys seemed appalled that something so gross could happen to girls besides the "monthly visits". A couple weeks later, B and I wear going to a Giants/Diamondbacks game (this was a couple years ago when we first dated) and I stupidly wore a skirt. B looks over during the 2nd inning and asks how my swamp ass is doing. I laughed so hard that I spit a little of my $6 beer out. That's when I knew B could hang.
So there you have it folks, the story of swamp ass!